I am not really one to splurge on jewelry but I have had my eye on this forever and I finally figured that I should treat myself to something awesome. 

so, this sweet Alexander Mcqueen ring will be on my finger in less than 5 days. 

Bob Marley on how to love a woman

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

- Bob Marley

Charlie when I first got her in spring, 2008. A customer special ordered her… I remember wondering, why the fuck would anyone want a rat as a pet…. thats kind of gnarly…but then I saw her. She was adorable, and she was so sweet and trusting. I was disappointed to know that she was meant for a customer and that I couldn’t buy her. 

Fortunately for me, The customer decided that Charlie was “too ugly.” (even though she ordered a tan and white dumbo rat, and thats EXACTLY what charlie was). That day, Charlie was mine. We were instant friends. She came with me to work, she came everywhere I could bring her. I’m sure I’ll get another rat one day, maybe one day soon, but I don’t know if I’ll ever find one as special as she was. 

Charlie a few weeks ago. 

i gave my little charlie girl a bath today. 

so fresh and so clean, clean. 

i love this little girl. just look at that fucking face….and those ears… 

so i took charlie to the vet yesterday. it is a tumor and its only a matter of time before it gets bigger. thankfully it is non-cancerous. they said they could remove it, and that they should remove it because obviously the bigger it is the more dangerous it is to remove it… but heres the thing, its quite possible that she has underlying health problems…compared to how she used to look, she’s super thin even though she’s eating…. and when they are this old, they usually gain weight because they are less  . If she does have underlying health issues, there is a much higher risk of death during the surgery. Thankfully the tumor isn’t imbedded in her organs, its just on the outer left side so they can just do an insicion and pop out the tumor… its just the whole going under thing that has the risk… and then theres the high possiblity of more coming back..

 i mentioned to the vet that she had a really gnarly case of mites and that charlie got them when there was no other rats in the cage. my vet said that usually when a rat gets mites when there are no cage mates its because of some immune compromising illness. 

they took some blood and did a urine analysis to find out whats wrong with her. i wont find out the results for a few more days but i hope she’s alright so i can do this surgery. if i can’t, i am going to put her on steroids so she will at least be more comfortable. i don’t know what i’m gonna do. 

to some people this may sound dumb because she’s “just a rat” but she’s not just a rat to me. I cant tell you how many times she cheered me up with her little rat kisses when I was at my lowest, or how many times she kept me company when i felt alone. i feel like such a corny douchebag writing this, but whatever man. i love my little girl. 

i really don’t know what to do.

charlie has the sweetest little face.